new month, new start.

I was afraid for February. I didn't want to start a month without you. I hate thinking about the things we're missing out on not being together.

yesterday morning when we came out of active pass, I looked over and saw a little sliver of a sunrise coming out from the cloud cover. after thinking of wanting to share the picture with you, I thought of it as a glimmer of hope. this morning, the sliver was twice the size. maybe it means that there's light at the end of the tunnel. maybe it means my life is getting brighter.

I need to think about myself and what I want. I don't think I've actually though of what I really want in a long time. I think that one thing that I should really do is start a bucket list. get it all down so I can see what I want to do and see my accomplishments when I finish it.

I know what I want out of life. I want to be happy, I want to explore, I want to learn, I want to experience. I want to love, I want to be loved. I want someone to share my life. I want someone to be safe with. I want someone to share with. I want my one and only and I want to be that for someone.

I have plans, although I think life has other plans for you and you don't even know it. and I wonder what life's plan is for me, and what it is for you. and if our lives are meant to cross again. because I still think we have unfinished business with each other. we may have broken up, but I can't shake the feeling that we're not done with each other yet.

but sometimes I wish I could go back. for just one more night. one more snuggle nap, one more corny joke, one more tender kiss, one more moment in your arms. one more moment of happiness.