vacation time - the livin's easy

so check me out vacation!! i didn't get to do a few things that i wanted but that's ok. i went to nanaimo, saw jes and kol, saw some friends, and my fam. came home, hung out for a day or so, went to vancouver to see laura and cameron. soooo much fun. i saw ashlee too. came home yesterday and spent today doing some house tidying. i am going to finish cleaning the kitchen and bake some banana bread. tomorrow i'm going to go on a long walk and a laundry folding frenzy!! then i'm going to start packing. monday i'm going to call mom to wish her a very happy birthday and then i'm going to continue packing while i go over the house to make sure i like how it looks. sims playing and a walk will take up the rest of my time. tuesday will be making sure the packing is complete, a walk, sims playing and lots of excitement. i fly out wednesday morning and then there's 8 days of awesome ahead. then i'm home, then laura and cameron come and visit, then amanda comes to visit and then i have a couple of free days and then i'm back to work. vacation is awesome!

seeing: my 30 days of list journal, soooo far behind - plane project maybe?
hearing: price tag - jessie j ft b.o.b.
feeling: that even tho some things haven't happened during my vacation i need to believe that everything happens for a reason and when it needs to. all i have to do is believe in that...

vacation!

so my first day of vacation has started and i slept in for it!! oh well. i'm cool with that. i have so many plans over the next month and i'm just hoping that i manage to get them all in!! it's kinda nice to just be at home without any plans. it's a shame i made so many...oh well. i'll make it work. it just means the house will be a little messy. like that bothers me, lol!

seeing: my mess
hearing: loser like me - glee cast
feeling: inspired and happy

pearls, boots, blue skies, fluffy white clouds, bubble tea = ★

day off!! ♥ had a good day! Kelly came down, we made a bunch of chili, went to dinner at the four mile, washed some bedding, went for a drive, had lunch and bubble tea, was a good day. tonight i'm going to soprano's with Cora and company, we'll see how that turns out. 3 more days of work, 18 more days till i fly away!! have planned out my vacation so awesomely!! i'm really excited for it and i hope i get a chance to do everything i wanna do!!

seeing: my 30 days of list journal that i REALLY need to catch up on
hearing: live your life - t.i. ft. rihanna & empire state of mind - jay-z ft alicia keys
feeling: excited/nervous about tonight

work...or something like it

was kinda nice going from mornings to mid-day starts. was kinda like an extra day off...kinda. i'm pretty excited that when i get off work tomorrow kelly will be here for the night. it's gonna be awesome!! got a chance to talk to laura today, haven't talked to her in forever and i'm gonna spend a couple of days with her in vancouver and see her and her a-dorable baby!! yay!! i'm either going to borrow or rent a scooter and do a gulf islands trip on one of my days off and then before i know it it'll be vacation time!! planning out my vacation days is pretty awesome!! i'm excited for it!

work was good today. i really like my crews down here. got to work in the buffet today which was a nice change! i'm really liking it...all of it...

seeing: my 30 days of list journal that i really need to catch up on
hearing: Hello - Martin Solveig and Dragonette
feeling: excited!!

the day off

i had the day off today, which was nice. spent too much time in bed this morning daydreaming the am away. this is definitely not good. it feels like i'm falling back into old habits that will just send me backwards. i mean, i got up eventually, got the kitchen clean, tidied the living room, vacuumed the house. i did not get my baking done, or my laundry. i know i can't do everything in a day, but i wish i had've done more. gotten up earlier. could've gotten the laundry done, baked a few things, but tomorrow's an am shift so i'm home just after 3. let's hope that tomorrow afternoon can be spent baking cookies and banana bread, washing and folding laundry, and maybe unpack something?

this blog entry was interrupted by an awesome phone call three time zones away to get rid of any insecurities i was feeling about thursday and about other people and just found out i've been facebook creeped by a guy who can't wait to meet me three time zones away. pretty awesome!

today was my first day off that i had where i didn't wish i could go to work. i didn't mind being by myself which i think was a big improvement! 6 more shifts before i'm on vacation. i have 28 days off work which i think'll be fun. i'm hoping to get the house more organized, spend some time with a bunch of nanaimo peoples, show off my new place to a bunch of nanaimo peoples and have an awesome trip!!

seeing: my house, considerably tidier than this morning
hearing: the clickity-clack of my keys on the keyboard and the random giggles from an awesome phone conversation
feeling: soooo much better about myself and about thursday. and is all smiles about the stealthy ninja wingman and about a lot of things. yay!

doesn't have much time but i didn't write yesterday and i want to today. i did a lot of stairs yesterday. not as many as i could have but i did do more than i wanted to. i guess that counts for something.

day off tomorrow. going to spend it around the house and i'm going to make it puuuuuurdy! dishes, a must, laundry would be good. maybe wash the bedding. going to tidy the living room. maybe tackle a few boxes i hadn't unpacked yet...that sounds pretty good. end the day with chili and a good movie before early bed for early work. stupid changeover days. they call it a day off...but when you don't get off work till 8pm the day before and have to be up at 5am the day after, the day off is kinda tainted with the whole, oh, gotta be up early tomorrow...that's ok, after today i've only got 6 more days before i'm on vacation...yay!! :)

seeing: my 30 days of lists diary and wonders what it'll look like when i'm done
hearing: metric - combat baby
feeling: like i might not have enough time before i go to work, even tho i snoozed too many times this morning.

flashbacks

cruising through cyberspace, decided to check out an old blog and read a few posts. wrote about when dad was sick and we thought we were losing him. thought back to other moments in my life and wow. that's a lot of stuff. i mean, a lot of serious moments. i think that you show what you're really made of when the shit is is mid-hitting the fan. right in the middle of the crap going down and how you react and present yourself and handle everything coming at you. i think that i do a pretty damn good job when it sucks. i'm not the best at everything. there's a lot of things i don't know about life, and about a lot of things. but i think that what i do know, i know pretty well. i also think that i can write about it pretty good too.

seeing: pictures of me and mine. how mom and i have the same eyes when we smile.
hearing: the beatles - here comes the sun.
feeling: proud, accomplished, grateful

how many beginning are there?

i need to start writing things down. when i was unpacking last month i came across one of my sad attempts at a diary when i was young. all it was full of was the truth. pain and things i don't want to remember. this is going to be filled with the same, of sorts. it's going to be full of the truth. i'm not going to write every day. or if i do, awesome. i'm going to write down things i think that are important.

it's been a month of living on my own. i like it more than i thought i would. i have my lonely moments. i think of funny things to say or just ideas and wish i had someone to say them to. i miss having something living around me. that's the one nice thing about going back to mom and dad's, even for the night, is the pets. max goes nuts and loves me and gets mad when i'm not holding him. nimbus makes me work for her love and then turns into a snuggler when nobody else is looking. my hair loves nanaimo and i'm still getting it to try and like it here. maybe it's the winter.

i read my last blog entry and it's so full of hope. i want this one to be full of determination. i have a great job, and it's mine. guaranteed hours. so the financials will be sorted out by the end of this year. i mean, everything isn't going to be paid of completely but i'll have a few things gone and the rest of it under control, which will be really nice. having 5 debts and knowing that in 9 months i should have 2 of them gone completely is a good feeling. * i can't stop running my hands through my nice clean nanaimo hair <3* planning is nice but this is about execution. i have time that i can start focusing on more important things.

every time i've set out on the weight loss mission i've always said i want to get healthier but i think we all knew that was just code for wanting to be skinnier so i'd be liked better and wouldn't be judged right away as being a lazy slob. i want to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with what i see. i don't have to be a skinny minnie, but i need to be able to look at myself and say, yup that's where it's at and i'm good with it. you know, the weight isn't the only thing i want to work on. i have a few things about my smile i'd like to adjust. that'll take some time tho, because i don't think that i'll qualify for braces because i don't "technically"need them because they're not too bad but i want my bottom teeth a little straighter. they're my teeth, i'll get em looking the way i want them. (probably that invisiline stuff later on). with the weight tho, i want to be able to run, to do an obstacle course, to do westwood in 30 minutes would be cool. ride a bike and be able to do drills at work with a car deck sweeper and stair tower card and get to the end of those seven flights and not be winded. but i think i'm on the way to that already because i did it the other night and yeah, i was winded at the end, but it didn't last as long as it usually does. progress?

seeing: my untidy cleanish house. allllllll mine!!
hearing: hello - marvin solveig and dragonette
feeling: like i had it right the last time. that it was a hard path but the right one.